Monthly Archives: April 2010

Jerk Lunch

            

When I was in grade six I had a crush on a boy. Not just a boy, the boy. He was two years older than me and anyone that recalls grade school knows just how huge of a social gap this poses. The eight graders were a whole new brand of cool. He was athletic, easy to talk to, and seemed to possess a worldly knowledge my lowly 11-year-old self had yet to amass. He was the basis of most of my conversations to giggling girlfriends at recess and sleepovers. I thought it was pretty impossible he would ever like me back, and resigned myself to playing soccer with him or listening to him talk about football instead of actually confessing my feelings.

We remained friends, although we haven’t spoken in quite some time now, and after my first year of University I came home and met up with a few old faces for beers. We were all reminiscing in a back-in-the-day fashion, and he turned to me, laughing, and said, “Man I had the biggest crush on you back then.”

You can imagine my reaction. My mouth hanging open, I sputtered, “You had a crush on me?”

“Well yeah,” he said, a bit sheepishly, “You didn’t know? Everyone knew.”

Unfortunately I didn’t learn from this lesson, and over the past few years I’ve still avoided truly talking about how I feel or asking questions when the answer terrifies me. Maybe I think it makes me weak to confess my fears. Maybe I’m just not as brave as I act. Whatever the reason, I’m sure it’s cost me quite a few opportunities, and I don’t intend on doing it anymore.

I’m tired of living in my head and wondering how people actually feel about me, or whether I’m doing a good job, or if I’m actualizing potential with opportunities. That’s it. No more. I’m going to start doing something revolutionary for me: I’m just going to ask. And I’m sure it’ll give me a few heartaches. I’m positive I’ll get answers I didn’t expect that hurt me or shock me. But, it still beats the hell out of ruminating endlessly by myself. I think, at the end of the day, it may make me a better person. Or at least a person willing to look critically at their flaws and attempt to improve them. We’ll see 🙂

I started today, out for lunch at a jerk restaurant. Turning to my boyfriend, I asked, “How would you rate us this week? Like on a scale of 1-10, 10 being I’m the best girlfriend in the world and you couldn’t be happier, what are we?”

He thought about it for a second and answered firmly, “8.5.” 

I asked what could change to make it a 10, and he pointed out a couple silly arguments we had had that I (and he) could have perhaps dealt with better. It was an excellent point, and I feel better knowing how to improve.

Lunch, by the way, was delicious. It came with (as always) the Belizean rice and beans side dish. 

We split a jerk platter for two; jerk chicken, pork, fish (snapper), and shrimp. Yum.

Mmmmm. Even better with a couple beers and an ocean view.

Try asking one hard question today (or opinion etc). Just one 🙂 And if you do, let me know how it goes.

Advertisements

7 Comments

Filed under Just Me, Main Meals

Let’s Talk about Custard.

The frozen variety. Because it’s too damn hot to eat any other kind right now. 

In fact it’s too hot to type so I’ll just get to the goods.

Check it out. Rocky road frozen custard. My understanding is, the main difference between custard and ice cream is that custard has more eggs. Which makes it richer, creamier, and just plain awesome.

Doesn’t he look goooooooodddd?

And *this*, my friends, is what he looked like just prior to his death. This is him on death row. 

NOM

🙂

11 Comments

Filed under Dessert

Mangoes and Philosophizing

I read a true story, once, although now the origin escapes me, about a woman in her 60s who managed to lift the back end of a car off of her grandson’s arm. Or leg. Or something. You hear stories like this all the time; adrenaline and fear make you capable of seemingly impossible things. Anyway. Later the woman was interviewed about this miraculous feat of strength and she avoided talking about it altogether. Eventually when she addressed the issue, she said she felt uncomfortable acknowledging it happened because it meant that all of the other things in her life that she thought were impossible, were feasible.

 This came to mind as I was walking on the beach this afternoon. I realized that I decided about a month before I moved to Belize that I was going to pick up and leave.  A month before that, I had to google map the location (embarrassingly) because I wasn’t even sure where it was, exactly. What does this mean? If I can decide I’m going to move to a different country in a month, and pull it off within a week (seriously: it shouldn’t have been a week but procrastination struck again) what else can I do? What could I be accomplishing next month if I decide today that I want to do it? Frightening, right?

 This level of mental exertion calls for a beer and my new favourite snack down here; mangoes on a stick.

Here is the mango. NOM. They cut it so interestingly that I don’t question how it’s actually done and prefer to purchase it daily for about $1 US.

The first couple of times I bought this I ate it like any other Canadian  chick would. Right off of the stick with no accompaniments. Then I noted that locals were apparently purchasing some illicit looking substance to sprinkle over the mango-on-a-stick. Not one to pass up the opportunity to try it, I politely inquired as to what, exactly, it was, and the spanish local behind the counter responded as if I was perhaps the biggest idiot she had had the misfortune of talking to on that particular day. “Salt and pepper.”

Salt and pepper? On Mangoes? You also get it in this little drug baggie. Check it out.

So I sprinkled some on, and honestly – it’s delicious. The salt brings out the natural sweetness of the mango, and the pepper leaves a fire-y feeling on your lips after you’ve finished eating. Yum. 

This, a beer, and a beautiful pier with a stunning view of the ocean? Perfect day.

21 Comments

Filed under Just Me